If you’re not listening, then you’re not really having a conversation.
– Sam Sanders and Sylvie Douglas, NPR Reporters

According to a 2012 Harvard study, talking about oneself activates the same dopamine-based pleasure center in our brains as sex and heroin. This is perhaps why one key to a good conversation is asking thoughtful questions.

Margie Carter, early childhood author and co-founder of Exchange’s Reimagining Our Work initiative, recently sent in a Huffington Post article that implores readers, “Get to know your grandkids by asking the kind of questions that will appeal to their curiosity.”

Perusing the list, it’s clear these questions might spark conversation with others, too:

1. What’s something you’re really good at? (followed by “Can you teach me how to do it?”)
2. What was the last thing that happened that made you laugh?
3. What is something kind that someone has done for you?
4. What is something about you that I don’t already know?
5. What do you think you’ll be doing ten years from now?
6. Would you rather travel back to the past or into the future?
7. Do you think it’s ever a good idea to tell a lie?
8. What would a perfect day look like for you?
9. If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?

The piece concludes, “More important than the question that gets them talking is how well you listen once you get them started.” A BetterUp story on great conversations among adults agrees, pointing out, “Follow-up questions related to what the other person said can expand the conversation…Again, this shows the person you are talking to that you are truly interested in what they have to say.” Robyn Sotak, author of “My Class is Trolling Me and I Love It,” invites us to add an element of playfulness, noting, “We all know that relationships are one of the most important things in the classroom, if not the most important, and being playful goes a long way in developing those relationships.”