Today’s message is from Exchange Press Editor-in-Chief, Binta Dixon.

Emotions are a natural and beautiful aspect of our humanity. They allow us to process big feels, to grieve, and to express joy. Emotions are also culturally and socially, coded. In the specific context of the U.S., tears can be weaponized.

Many Black and Brown people in the U.S. learn early that their pain is not seen as equal to white folks’ pain. In turn, the tears of white folks, white women-identified people specifically, carry more weight.

When a Black woman or person of color expresses a need, addresses a microaggression, or speaks out against harm and a white woman cries, the situation immediate shifts to being about caretaking the white woman’s feelings.

There may be a knee-jerk response of “I can’t help it if I cry.” I invite you to consider a past instance when you cried in response to a conversation that centered a person of color. Did someone stop the conversation to comfort you?

The issue here is not the tears, but the power dynamics at play when a white woman places her feelings above the needs of a person of color experiencing. The potential damage is amplified when white women are in leadership positions.

I am committed to a vision of community where everyone’s joy and pain is equally witnessed, and where talking about racism and bias are normalized as a part of community growth.

What are your commitments in terms of seeing and addressing less overt forms of racism? Here are some questions to reflect on if you decide to engage further with the topic of weaponized tears:

• Are you a white person, and have you ever been in a conversation about race, micro/macro aggressions, or the experiences of Black and Brown people, and found yourself crying?
• Are you a person of color or Black person who has experienced a white woman crying in a way that minimized your experiences or derailed a conversation either at work or in your personal life?
• What were the consequences for you or for others?
• How might this dynamic impact how you engage with young children and their families?