This article is an excerpt from Elsa Chahin’s book, “The Future Is in Our Hands: A Mindful Approach to Raising Children.” 

Meditation. Mindfulness. Mantras. These words often come to mind at the beginning of a new year, when people vow to make and keep resolutions. And whether they are easily attainable, lofty, or aspirational, there is still a goal within reach that can and will help us all in our daily lives, one that promises to ensure feelings of well-being for not only ourselves, but also for our children and others.

But if the word concierge sounds, perhaps, a tad elitist, it is actually another way of saying gatekeeper. That is right! We are the gatekeepers of our own happiness, which, in turn, is a pipeline to spirituality. Another way to consider the word concierge is to think of it as a person of service; therefore, being your own concierge is being of service to yourself. Considering your own presence a temple, so to speak, is a means of honoring yourself. 

To be more precise, being able to access happiness through your body and your mind to know that there is always hope, and help—no matter if life throws you a curve ball, which it inevitably will, or situations become overwhelmingly demanding, depressing or stressful. By relying on yourself, you become empowered.

Indeed, as tensions have run particularly high during the global pandemic, and anxiety, sickness and death are rampant, our collective wellness—and wellness messaging—was at stake, ultimately becoming integral to a good outcome. Yes, by taking care of yourself both physically and emotionally, it is a veritable truth that you will absolutely become a better person.

And so I reiterate: everything begins with self—self-love, self-care, self-compassion—because it is only then that we can experience an abiding joy. Thus, by knowing yourself, this allows you to be a better parent for your children or those you care for, with these practices allowing you to vibrate at a higher frequency and at enhanced levels of energy. That said, you will also attract the same qualities in others.  

Let’s begin, then, with a few questions: Do you see taking care of yourself as a selfish practice? What do you envision as forms of self-care? How many minutes a day or week do you allocate for taking care of your own needs, and what practices do you have in place for when you suffer burnout or feel the need to center yourself?

When you give so much of your time, energy, and soul to your children and/or partner, or to your work, you can become drained, and possibly feel sorry for yourself, which manifests in myriad ways, such as crying, explosive anger, yelling, or perhaps even falling asleep from sheer exhaustion. To help prevent such outcomes, here are ways that I recharge in order to navigate hectic days.

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Be Present Now

This sounds so simple, but is actually quite profound, and over the years I have learned from many of my teachers to take each moment one at a time. Instead of being overwhelmed with responsibilities, I approach each moment as a new moment.

Sensory Awareness Foundation’s Stefan Laeng taught me how to approach this in the most basic way. “You do not have to be present all the time,” he told me. “Just be present now… and now… and now.” 

Through that very unfussy phrase, I came to an aha realization: I approached each moment as a new moment and began practicing being present. Discovering a rewarding practice allowed me to be free from stress, self-pity, and fatigue, both physical and emotional. The goal was to achieve serenity and calmness, which ultimately brought me happiness and continues to do so to this day.

There are several more points I wish to address with regards to this subject. It may seem apparent, but awareness is a key factor in experiencing the senses, and a foundation to emotional intelligence. A simple mindfulness experience is one in which you can bring your awareness to your feet. First, notice their point of contact with the floor or other surfaces that they may be touching. Can you allow yourself to feel your connection with gravity? This simple act can also apply to bringing your awareness, in this moment, to your sit bones, whether it is a chair, a couch or the floor.

In addition, there is joy to be found in a mere cup of tea or glass of water. Are you allowing yourself to be in relationship with this everyday activity, while at the same time asking yourself, “Am I being present with it through my senses—my eyes, my ears, my nose, my taste buds, and that vital ability to touch?”

These unassuming acts will help you be in relationship with the world around you, including being present with other people and everything you encounter in your daily life. After all, it was Isaac Newton who once said, “Nature is pleased with simplicity.”

I invite you to think, then, about such basic acts as opening and closing a door, noticing the grasp you have on the door knob and how much force you use. Apply this practice to how you hold a pen when you write or how you tap the keyboard when you type. Are you aware of unnecessary tension and more importantly, are you allowing yourself to release this needless pressure while rushing through your activities, which is, let’s face it, what we all do?

This pathway of thinking/being pertains to other daily rituals: brushing your teeth, taking a shower, or getting dressed. In other words, I invite you to be aware, to be present during these activities, and by experiencing these seemingly small things, you will most certainly bring your consciousness to bear on the far more important elements of your life. 

This practice of sensory awareness can be a 15-second moment of realization or something more prolonged—attaining, for example, a skill such as dancing or playing an instrument. By making use of your time and effort, and with perseverance, you will find infinite pleasure in achieving goals both small and large. You may even wish to keep a gratitude journal, jotting down feelings of appreciation for all the goodness in your life. 

And while these are but a few of the ways in which to practice self-care, I wish to conclude this essay by discussing how hands can bring both self-care and child care together. Because the future—literally and figuratively—is in our hands, I want you to think about how many activities you do throughout the day that necessitate using your hands. 

Interacting with babies and young children requires the use of your hands: how you touch your infant, and how you convey your message of love through touch, will influence how your baby comes to see the world and how their brain will be wired. This mindfulness and awareness will allow them to handle any negative situation that might arise in the future. With awareness and a gentle, nurturing, and respectful touch, love and attunement can be experienced through the daily interactions between a young child and the one who cares for them. This is love in its most primal form, one that will sustain the child and help them craft a sense of belonging. 

It is these kinds of experiences, created by moments of loving awareness and gentle, respectful touch, that can lead your young child on a path to thrive, while at the same time replenishing and sustaining you with a deep sense of love, joy and togetherness. 

These mindfulness practices, simple but powerful, can make the world a better place. By being your own spiritual concierge and thinking about self-care in a new way, you will be able to find deeper, more meaningful connections in all that you do. Embracing such positivity, you can make our home—the Earth—a more noble, compassionate planet, for our children, ourselves and for all those who seek peace and happiness.