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September 5, 2025
Working With People You Find Challenging? We Can Help
Practice the pause. Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing, Pause whenever you’re about to react harshly and you’ll avoid doing and saying things you’ll later regret.
– Lori Deschene
“People problems in work settings is the top stressor for most workers,” write Luis Hernandez and Connie Jo Smith, in the article “Disarming Contankerous People.”
“Who are these folks?” they ask. “They are the ones that we can easily recognize because they can bug us individually or can drive the entire team bonkers. They are the ones who:
“Who are these folks?” they ask. “They are the ones that we can easily recognize because they can bug us individually or can drive the entire team bonkers. They are the ones who:
- are bossy
- act superior
- are loud and aggressive
- try to please too much.”
Ron Friedman, writing in the Harvard Business Review online, provides additional pointers on how to deal with these kinds of co-workers, including how to negotiate emotionally charged conversations. Friedman recommends going into a difficult conversation using a technique represented by the acronym PEARLS:
- Partnership (‘I bet we can figure this out together.’)
- Empathy (‘I can hear your concern.’)
- Acknowledgment (‘You clearly put a lot of work into this.’)
- Respect (‘I’ve always appreciated your creativity.’)
- Legitimation (‘This would be hard for anyone.’)
- Support (‘I’d like to help you with this.’)
“The key,” Friedman notes, “is to employ them sparingly at first and to say only the ones that genuinely reflect how you feel.”
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